Lobachevsky - Tom Lehrer.mp3

[00:04.47]Who made me the genius I am today
[00:06.75]The mathematician that others all quote?
[00:09.30]Who's the professor that made me that way
[00:11.82]The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?
[00:14.64]One man deserves the credit
[00:16.86]One man deserves the blame
[00:18.51]And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
[00:21.78]Oy!
[00:21.81]Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach...
[00:23.31]I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky
[00:28.32]In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
[00:31.86]Plagiarize
[00:33.87]Plagiarize!
[00:35.76]Let no one else's work evade your eyes
[00:38.79]Remember why the good Lord made your eyes
[00:41.01]So don't shade your eyes
[00:42.54]But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize
[00:45.60]Only be sure always to call it please "research"
[00:49.41]And ever since I meet this man
[00:51.75]My life is not the same
[00:53.22]And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
[00:56.40]Oy!
[00:56.43]Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach...
[00:57.90]I am never forget the day
[01:00.18]I am given first original paper to write
[01:03.12]It was on analytic and algebraic topology
[01:05.55]Of locally Euclidean metrization
[01:06.90]Of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold
[01:09.03]Bozhe moy!
[01:11.49]This I know from nothing
[01:14.40]What I'm going to do
[01:15.96]I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - haha!
[01:19.17]I have a friend in Minsk
[01:21.69]Who has a friend in Pinsk
[01:23.58]Whose friend in Omsk
[01:24.60]Has friend in Tomsk
[01:25.53]With friend in Akmolinsk
[01:27.24]His friend in Alexandrovsk
[01:28.83]Has friend in Petropavlovsk
[01:30.51]Whose friend somehow is solving now
[01:32.22]The problem in Dnepropetrovsk
[01:33.87]And when his work is done
[01:35.88]Haha! Begins the fun
[01:37.53]From Dnepropetrovsk to Petropavlovsk
[01:39.09]By way of Iliysk and over Novorossiysk
[01:40.59]To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
[01:42.03]To Tomsk to Omsk
[01:42.84]To Pinsk to Minsk
[01:43.71]To me the news will run
[01:45.54]Yes, to me the news will run!
[01:48.78]And then I write by morning, night
[01:53.61]And afternoon, and pretty soon
[01:55.35]My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed
[01:57.63]When he finds out I published first!
[02:00.21]And who made me a big success
[02:02.82]And brought me wealth and fame?
[02:04.38]Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name
[02:07.65]Oy!
[02:07.68]Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachev...
[02:09.54]I am never forget the day my first book is published
[02:14.07]Every chapter I stole from somewhere else
[02:17.49]Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory
[02:23.61]This book was sensational!
[02:25.08]Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said:
[02:27.06]Zhil byl korol' kogda-to, Pri nem blokha zhila
[02:29.40]("It stinks")
[02:29.40]But Izvestia! Izvestia said:
[02:34.38]Ya idu kuda sam tsar' idet peshkom
[02:38.88]("It stinks")
[02:38.88]Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys the movie rights for six million rubles
[02:44.97]Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle'
[02:49.56]With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse
[02:53.61]And who deserves the credit?
[02:56.46]And who deserves the blame?
[02:58.11]Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name!
[03:04.65]Oy!