[00:00.00] 作词 : Alex "Papi Beatz" Baez/Carter Lang/Victor Mensah/Darian Garcia/Kevin Rhomberg/Peter Wilkins[00:01.00] 作曲 : Alex "Papi Beatz" Baez/Carter Lang/Victor Mensah/Darian Garcia/Kevin Rhomberg/Peter Wilkins[00:02.74]Yeah this just my life[00:09.33]Front to back top to bottom[00:14.77]Everything's changing around me[00:19.08]These days don't feel the same[00:22.50]We all lost faith and lost family[00:25.60]Why must we play this game[00:29.64]Lord have mercy on me[00:33.02]I've been a sinning man[00:37.27]Pull out my wings jump off the bridge and crash in a plane[00:40.63]If I never land[00:42.54]Know I never die[00:49.04]We live forever in my mind[00:56.24]And I sanctify[01:03.52]We live forever still that life[01:11.41]There's a lot going on but I stick to the ones I love[01:14.69]I never claimed to be a perfect man but name a great man who was[01:18.23]Consequences of my actions in the past years had me stressing out[01:21.84]It was like may I just moved to l a[01:24.19]I was tryna figure it out[01:25.37]Medication for depression that I cut cold turkey had the kid manic[01:28.96]In an episode out in hollywood wilding out like nick cannon[01:32.49]Railing adderall pills out a dollar bill on the bathroom floor[01:35.93]Clean the whole mess up with my nose[01:37.75]What the **** I need a vacuum fo[01:39.39]New york city on my birthday june 6 th 2014[01:42.61]I had that first meeting with hov plus I brought out the whole team[01:46.11]I drank that whole bottle of d'usse ty ty gave me that night[01:49.63]When we left the club after rap genius house me[01:52.37]And shorty got into a fight[01:53.49]She came out the room swingin' hit me in the jaw[01:55.56]I was really tryna fend her off[01:57.40]But I ended up in the closet with my hands around her neck[01:59.91]I was tripping dawg[02:01.00]Too proud to apologize or empathize I blamed it all on her[02:04.49]Saying that she hit me first even though she was the one hurt[02:08.10]I was really just reflecting all the hurt[02:09.96]That I was feeling from the band's rejection[02:11.67]When kids these days split that shit felt like a c-sectio[02:15.22]And my infidelity and jealousy with natalie on top of the a*********es[02:18.50]And the ecstasy had me tryna drown face down in the chesapeake[02:22.29]The next month I dropped down on my luck and had europe going n**s[02:25.83]But I couldn't even appreciate it at the time I was going through too much[02:29.28]Now I had to leverage million dollar label deals on the table for my records[02:32.78]In ibiza eating paella on the roof tryna choose over breakfast[02:36.61]Hov wasn't with the bidding war but I knew the roc just felt right[02:39.81]When I saw kanye at wireless without t-pain still a good life[02:43.35]Felt so close when mr hudson introduced me to him backstage[02:47.07]He prolly don't even remember that shit like a **** off backpag[02:50.66]But at that stage[02:51.44]I was ready to swing for the fence like a batting cage[02:54.07]At the same time I was winding down a low point in my addict phase[02:57.55]The adderall started wearing off and I went into a deep writer's block[03:01.18]All over a song that I couldn't finish[03:03.17]That I wrote about signin' to the roc[03:04.92]Isn't that ironic I was feeling so psychotic[03:07.95]With the whole world excited for me and my idol saying I got it[03:11.51]Shit got bad out in l[03:12.73]So I moved back home to my mom's basemen[03:15.05]Linked up with smoko and papi beatz and took it back to basics[03:18.89]Then I wrote rage that was me screaming out through the pain[03:22.46]And u mad addressing my relation******p with natalie it was too bad[03:25.83]The violence and the lies slipped suicide into my mental health[03:29.38]I did acid in the studio one day and almost killed myself[03:33.09]As I started to fall apart certain stars started to align[03:36.48]Oh mys came to chicago in january at the perfect time[03:40.02]He said kanye was working on an album[03:42.07]And uzi played him one of our songs[03:43.72]He was tryna fly me out **** it was goin' down like the dow jone[03:47.18]Pulled up to westlake first day I was there I recorded wolves[03:50.80]I knew I was the one like neo meeting with the oracle[03:54.50]But I had to get a handle 'fore the door was pulled[03:56.61]Crawled out on snl[03:58.32]All the niggas hating on me back home lookin' at me like fm[04:02.06]A lot of people coming out the wood like let's work tryna network[04:05.34]All the pressure making my head hurt the m***y wouldn't let the meds work[04:08.81]At this time it's like feb 1 st to the 15 th[04:10.70]And I'm still addicted[04:12.65]Frustrated writing shit for ye tryna visualize someone else's visio[04:16.19]Then he laid that verse on u mad and we made the shit the singl[04:19.73]Ye and hov getting into it over me tryna do a joint venture[04:23.20]And good music still fam but it's that roc boy savemoney life[04:26.64]Took the bus out on the road for the traffic tour did a hundred nights[04:30.10]Cleaned out my closet I got rid of all of my demons[04:33.38]If you learn one thing from my journey **** it's don't stop believin[04:37.02]When this shit got so suffocating I could barely even keep breathin[04:40.64]Wrote my wrongs all in this song now[04:42.49]I'd like to welcome y'all to my season[04:44.18]**** I'm gon[04:58.89]Know I never die[05:05.06]We live forever in my mind[05:12.64]And I sanctify[05:19.12]We live forever still that life