[00:00.00]I've been feeling suicidal[00:02.53]And if I need remind you[00:03.89]It's not the coming of my heart and my brain[00:06.90]I was thinking about how great[00:08.52]It would be if I could make the tightness in my chest go away[00:12.43]It's been a while since I've seen God[00:14.70]And I'm not trying to lead him on[00:17.81]But he's always trying to **** me[00:19.52]To the tune of my favorite song[00:23.66]And they're playing "The '59 Sound" in heaven[00:26.32]While the angels were drinking up whiskey and Cokes[00:30.04]It's hard to freeze your anxieties[00:32.74]When your best friends' torching your coat[00:35.80]Your coat[00:59.64]Drop that phone, drink a glass of water[01:01.76]And call me when you get in your bed[01:04.81]I've seen inside your head[01:06.72]And I'm doing the surgery on the parts[01:09.14]That still wish you were dead[01:11.96]'Cause I've lost too many friends[01:14.72]So I'll say it again and again[01:17.91]And again and again[01:19.32]And again and again[01:20.78]And again and again[01:22.73]I'm not trying to say it's easy[01:25.14]But I'm trying to say it's fine[01:28.30]I've still got your demons[01:29.96]And they're not gonna be leaving any time[01:33.39]Any time soon[01:38.82]Any time soon[01:44.28]Any time soon[01:50.22]Any time soon[02:03.48]I'm not trying to say it's easy[02:05.79]But I'm trying to say it's fine[02:22.09]Since I was thirteen I’ve dealt with manic depression[02:24.40]and I had a difficult time comprehending the things that I wanted to be[02:27.83]and I lived a very happy life[02:29.24]and I was turning eighteen and I was doing everything I could to try to make myself feel better[02:33.65]but I felt an absence,[02:34.86]I felt like I needed to die,[02:35.96]I felt like nothing existed[02:38.23]and I felt that I wasn't worthwhile breathing the same air as the ones I loved and my family,[02:43.31]and then it came to the point where I started losing friends who had the same ****ing ideas as myself[02:48.46]but I have to be strong and I have to live my life as a continuation of theirs lost[02:52.63]and I have to do everything in my ****ing power to be the person that I can be[02:57.52]and live my life the best way I ****ing can[03:00.29]and some days it's so hard to ****ing stand[03:04.01]and ****ing stand[03:05.72]and ****ing stand[03:07.23]and ****ing stand