I'm An Ordinary Man - Lerner & Loewe.mp3

[00:00.954]Lyrics:
[00:01.221]Pickering:
[00:01.998]Higgins,forgive the bluntness,
[00:03.578]but if I am to be in this business,
[00:04.088]I shall feel responsible for the girl.
[00:05.881]Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?
[00:08.982]Higgins:
[00:09.499]Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?
[00:13.628]Well,I haven't.
[00:14.670]I find the moment I let a woman make friends with me,
[00:17.007]she becomes jealous,exacting,suspicious and a damned nuisance.
[00:21.910]And I find the moment that I make friends with a woman,
[00:23.970]I become selfish and tyrannical.
[00:26.031]So here I am,a confirmed old bachelor and likely to remain so.
[00:29.891]Well after all, Pickering, I'm an ordinary man,
[00:34.513]Who desires nothing more than an ordinary chance,
[00:39.127]to live exactly as he likes, and do precisely what he wants...
[00:43.741]An average man am I, of no eccentric whim,
[00:48.384]Who likes to live his life, free of strife,
[00:51.724]doing whatever he thinks is best, for him.
[00:56.838]Well... just an ordinary man...
[01:01.744]BUT, Let a woman in your life
[01:04.816]and your serenity is through,
[01:07.607]she'll redecorate your home, from the cellar to the dome,
[01:10.717]and then go on to the enthralling fun of overhauling you...
[01:15.885]Let a woman in your life,
[01:18.483]and you're up against a wall,
[01:21.300]make a plan and you will find,
[01:22.833]that she has something else in mind,
[01:24.112]and so rather than do either you do something else that neither likes at all .
[01:29.721]You want to talk of Keats and Milton,
[01:32.559]she only wants to talk of love,
[01:35.385]You go to see a play or ballet,
[01:37.943]and spend it searching for her glove.
[01:40.781]Let a woman in your life
[01:43.360]and you invite eternal strife,
[01:46.709]Let them buy their wedding bands for those anxious little hands...
[01:52.873]I'd be equally as willing for a dentist to be drilling
[01:55.951]than to ever let a woman in my life.
[02:01.847]I'm a very gentle man,
[02:04.438]even tempered and good natured who you never hear complain,
[02:08.559]Who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein,
[02:13.430]A patient man am I, down to my fingertips,
[02:17.556]the sort who never could, ever would,
[02:20.889]let an insulting remark escape his lips.
[02:27.048]A very gentle man...
[02:31.156]But, Let a woman in your life,
[02:33.971]and patience hasn't got a chance,
[02:37.067]she will beg you for advice, your reply will be concise,
[02:40.138]and she will listen very nicely, and then go out
[02:43.469]and do exactly what she wants!
[02:45.790]You are a man of grace and polish,
[02:48.347]who never spoke above a hush,
[02:50.911]all at once you're using language
[02:53.743]that would make a sailor blush.
[02:56.572]Let a woman in your life,
[02:59.143]and you're plunging in a knife,
[03:02.482]Let the others of my sex, tie the knot around their necks,
[03:08.629]I prefer a new edition of the Spanish Inquisition
[03:11.955]than to ever let a woman in my life.
[03:18.369]I'm a quiet living man,
[03:20.419]who prefers to spend the evening in the silence of his room,
[03:25.044]who likes an atmosphere as restful as an undiscovered tomb,
[03:29.411]A pensive man am I, of philosophical joys,
[03:33.762]who likes to meditate, contemplate,
[03:36.882]far for humanities mad inhuman noise,
[03:43.701]A quiet living man....
[03:47.884]But, let a woman in your life,
[03:51.023]and your sabbatical is through,
[03:53.655]in a line that never ends comes an army of her friends,
[03:56.532]come to jabber and to chatter and to tell her what the matter is with YOU!
[04:01.761]She'll have a booming boisterous family,
[04:04.577]who will descend on you en mass.
[04:07.393]She'll have a large wagnarian mother,
[04:10.225]with a voice that shatters glass.
[04:13.071]Let a woman in your life,
[04:15.636]Let a woman in your life...@#$%^&
[04:32.297]I shall never let a woman in my life.