Princess Rap Battle: Dorothy vs. Alice - Whitney Avalon/Emily Kinney.mp3

[00:14.351]A:When you look into the mirror
[00:15.742]I’m sure you’re distressed
[00:16.891]Your book borrowed my look
[00:18.092]You’re even wearing my dress
[00:19.493]I been rocking this game
[00:20.674]Since before you were born
[00:21.840]This corny copy’s lost because
[00:23.132]She ain’t in Kansas anymore
[00:24.320]I'm surprised your garbage squad
[00:25.666]Hasn't fallen apart
[00:26.877]Yellow bellied, empty-headed
[00:27.959]That one’s got no heart
[00:29.462]Double killers, caterpillars
[00:30.668]And a mad man in my crew
[00:32.007]Put you on blast, I gotta ask
[00:33.463]Who are you?
[00:36.833]D:Well, I’m Dorothy Gale
[00:38.069]And you’re on my street
[00:39.402]Not a good witch, I’m a bad *****
[00:40.534]Ruby kicks on my feet
[00:41.891]Quirky stupid chicks
[00:43.299]And nobody can stand ‘em
[00:44.397]You’re that annoying girl shouting
[00:45.813]LOL I’m so random
[00:47.184]I got sense and sensibility
[00:48.228]Like my girl Jane Austen
[00:49.569]Wreckin’ your tea party
[00:50.730]Like they did back in Boston
[00:52.066]Word to your moms
[00:53.158]I’m dropping L. Frank Bombs
[00:54.426]Got more bars than Wonka
[00:55.492]More composed than Brahms
[00:56.886]Better say your prayers
[00:58.311]T:We’re your worst nightmares
[00:59.612]D:Keep dreaming, you’ll be screaming
[01:00.691]Lions, tigers, and bears
[01:01.866]S:Oh my!
[01:02.215]D:I’ve come to free the land
[01:03.207]From an olive hand
[01:04.286]A beginning middle end that
[01:05.454]Even kids can understand
[01:06.934]In your sadness you wallow
[01:07.995]Talkin’ rabbits you follow
[01:09.373]Put a bottle near your mouth
[01:10.654]You’re not thinkin’, you swallow
[01:11.975]I didn’t make the mold
[01:13.172]But I’m the one who broke it
[01:14.464]I’m the better ******e
[01:15.576]Stick that in your pipe and smoke it
[01:19.692]A:No place like home?
[01:20.654]You’re from a podunk prairie
[01:22.177]Ease on down the road
[01:23.159]Cause shiz is gonna get scary
[01:24.410]What’s your battle plan?
[01:25.662]I don’t think you understand
[01:26.879]A coward, dolt and bag of bolts
[01:28.198]Can’t step to Wonderland
[01:29.429]Don't make me light up your friend
[01:30.517]Cause he’s met his match
[01:31.661]A stitched together strawman
[01:33.094]That stinks like bandersnatch
[01:34.489]You’re washed up and washed out
[01:36.050]You’re fading, and thus
[01:36.984]Click your heels together baby
[01:38.103]And bugger off to Kansas
[01:42.161]S:Who needs brains when you have
[01:43.505]This much swagger
[01:44.513]I don’t even gotta think
[01:45.394]And I got moves like Jagger
[01:46.923]I’m outstanding in my field
[01:48.218]While you have mental lapses
[01:49.473]Teaching crows how to murder
[01:50.498]With my lack of synapses
[01:51.916]Noggin stuffed with knowledge
[01:53.168]Stitching rhymes so raw
[01:54.433]Throwing shade at Oz?
[01:55.629]Hay, that’s the last straw
[01:56.845]Let’s have a heart to heart
[01:57.943]You tart stealing tart
[01:59.339]Alice, you’re so stupid
[02:00.662]You make me look smart
[02:06.973]T:Gimme that oil can
[02:08.325]So I can get loose
[02:09.431]I’m relaxing while I’m axing
[02:10.714]Through your crew like a spruce
[02:11.925]I’m a ten out of tin
[02:13.026]The heavy metal playa hater
[02:14.584]I’m heartless and relentless
[02:15.711]Like the ******* Terminator
[02:16.970]Got more joints than Snoop
[02:18.108]Sippin’ mock turtle soup
[02:19.349]Hell, I’m just blowing off steam
[02:20.642]Like a chimney (Toot Toot)
[02:21.945]I ain’t scared of ****
[02:22.927]Cause I’m bulletproof
[02:24.319]Throw your hands in the air
[02:25.214]And raise this hot tin roof
[02:32.015]L:Let me at ‘em
[02:32.949]I’ll tear ‘em limb from limb
[02:34.158]Smack a hat off the whack job
[02:35.705]Make a snack of Tweedledim
[02:36.878]You fellas are all yella
[02:38.143]You ain’t got what I got
[02:39.280]With a paw behind my back
[02:40.583]I’ll tie you all up in a knot
[02:42.104]Outrageous and courageous
[02:43.088]That’s kinda my thing
[02:44.460]Bow down to the crown
[02:45.684]It’s good to be the king
[02:46.877]Scurry home with your friends
[02:48.068]Miss Little Bo Peep
[02:49.348]A lion doesn’t pay attention
[02:50.628]To the opinions of sheep
[02:57.118]T:You wanna step to this duo
[02:58.191]Cause we’re ready to battle
[02:59.494]Dee and Dum are down to frickin’
[03:00.639]Spank your ass like a paddle
[03:01.992]Beg and plead on your knees
[03:03.059]To the double trouble emcees
[03:04.242]And if you don’t like it
[03:05.731]You can tweedle-deez
[03:06.966]These tale-telling twins are
[03:08.275]Stopping, dropping, and rocking you
[03:09.426]Choppin’ and mockin’
[03:10.728]Snicker snakt jabberwocking you
[03:12.052]Talk smack in our world
[03:13.172]It’s off with your head
[03:14.359]We go hard, pull your card
[03:15.793]And paint your chest red
[03:27.107]M:Today is my unbirthday
[03:28.135]And it’s not cause I hate ya
[03:29.346]Serving dishes and dissin’ ya
[03:30.663]Cause I’m nutty by nature
[03:32.081]My writing desk riddle
[03:33.198]Can you tackle it quick?
[03:34.360]It makes no sense to rap
[03:35.626]Against a ‘raven’ lunatic
[03:36.959]She’d be a Tea Party crasher?
[03:38.217]This bastard haberdasher came to
[03:39.452]Trash and slash and bash and
[03:40.563]Put her ***** out to pasture
[03:42.125]I’m a dastardly villain
[03:43.020]Like a riddling Dillinger
[03:44.434]Top billing in shillings
[03:45.618]This milliner’s killing her
[03:46.946]I keep my mug mean
[03:47.991]I keep my cups clean
[03:49.289]I’m the baddest maddest hatter
[03:50.453]That the world has ever seen
[03:51.758]Look at your face
[03:53.188]You're so troubled, my dear!
[03:54.403]Of course our raps make you angry
[03:55.971]We're all mad here
[03:59.676]D:Your sloppy story structure
[04:00.759]Simply can’t be excused
[04:01.686]Just like the audience
[04:02.823]You spent your whole movie confused
[04:04.346]Our adventure had a point
[04:05.517]We found the man behind the curtain
[04:06.810]I would ruin your whole world
[04:08.108]But that's been done by Tim Burton
[04:09.596]I’m slammin’ other damsels
[04:10.710]While I’m spittin’ so speedily
[04:11.857]Running rampant on these cowards
[04:12.872]That are dumber than Tweedledee
[04:14.354]We’re ferocious fierce and feisty
[04:15.623]You’re a sleepy little mouse
[04:16.819]Watch me smash and flatten *******
[04:18.065]When I bring down the house
[04:24.594]A:Oh, my story’s nonsense?
[04:25.700]Yeah whatever, witch please
[04:27.046]You’ve got funky flying monkeys
[04:28.327]And apple-throwing trees
[04:29.439]This home wrecker in checkers
[04:30.615]Hits her head then it stops
[04:31.797]Suddenly a bunch of runts
[04:33.093]Are singing all about lollipops
[04:34.558]You’re as stupid as the scarecrow
[04:35.620]With only half of his charm
[04:36.765]This fool forgot these are the dudes
[04:38.058]That freakin’ lived on her farm
[04:39.424]You’re stressin’ cause you’re messing
[04:40.807]With a verbal giant sweetie
[04:41.889]Ya want to pick on someone
[04:44.166]My size? Eat me!