[00:13.53]Today I just felt it for the first time[00:19.99]Three months and one day after you died[00:25.54]I realized that these photographs we have of you[00:32.23]Are slowly replacing the subtle familiar[00:44.95]Memory of what it's like to know you're in the other room[00:57.31]To hear you singing on the stairs[01:03.18]A movement, a pine cone, your squeaking chair[01:09.90]The quiet untreasured[01:18.21]In between times[01:24.04]The actual experience of you here[01:34.54]I can feel these memories escaping[01:40.64]Colonized by photos narrowed down and told my mind erasing[01:53.67]The echo of you in the house dies down[02:07.53]October wind blows[02:12.81]It makes a door close[02:18.05]I look over my shoulder to make sure[02:26.38]But there is nobody here[02:31.00]I finally took out the upstairs bathroom garbage[02:36.19]That was sitting there forgotten since you were here[02:44.68]Wanting just to stay with us[02:50.69]Just to stay living[02:56.09]I threw it away[03:01.12]Your dried out, bloody, end-of-life tissues[03:07.57]Your toothbrush and your trash[03:12.34]And the fly buzzing around the room[03:18.29]Could that possibly be you too?[03:25.98]I let it go out the window[03:38.03]It does not feel good