The Android Hell Blues - Harry Callaghan/The Stupendium.mp3

[00:11.864] Well, there's a place you may have heard of...
[00:15.920] ...it's a tale we like to tell!
[00:19.987] When folks who's code ain't up to code...
[00:23.938] ...they go to Android Hell!
[00:28.048] Now the devil is found deep underground - so any faith will yell!
[00:35.088] [so deep below!]
[00:36.551] Well Aperture happens to be 10 miles down, half-way to Android Hell.
[00:44.155] So when those lemons that life gives you...
[00:48.269] ...just combust to dust and fumes!
[00:52.254] Buddy, life may give you lemons...
[00:56.330] ...but we got oranges, and blues!
[01:00.157] Oh, they gave us cores emotions!
[01:04.383] But that doesn't gel at all!
[01:08.300] Because all I feel's repulsion...
[01:12.477] ...and I'm bouncing off the walls!
[01:16.342] And each chamber full of dangers that we force upon a stranger...
[01:20.823] ...to test their feeble brains or brawn!
[01:24.558] Is nothing to the test if whether rust or boredom gets us...
[01:28.794] ...what's it matter what side of the glass we're on?!
[01:32.528] So may your Management Rail guide you...
[01:36.560] ...to a better place some day!
[01:40.698] Although technically they're omni-directional...
[01:44.712] ...we know they all just lead one way!
[01:48.681] So be you core, bot, cube or turret...
[01:52.919] ...treat this Aperture factory well!
[01:56.878] 'cause there's a worse fate awaitin' as your soul's emancipated...
[02:01.287] ...by the grills of Android Hell! [because we can!]
[02:06.871] And now my baby, she up and left me!
[02:11.020] Told me I was just a square! [ooh no!]
[02:14.970] I said "Darlin' we're both spherical!"
[02:18.856] She said she wasn't programmed to care!
[02:23.051] Oh yes, a life down here's a hard one!
[02:27.254] Not just because of acid lakes!
[02:31.194] Since my first day, had about a thousand birthdays!
[02:35.586] I still ain't seen no cake!
[02:39.185] Yes it's a hard life lived for that Hard-Light Bridge...
[02:43.152] ...to that rail-track in the sky!
[02:47.816] But there's no mistakin', it's a fall you will be takin'...
[02:51.302] ...cake is not this place's only lie!
[02:55.238] So when the floor gives way to ceiling...
[02:59.395] ...but your back is against the wall...
[03:03.694] In a loop that keeps repeating...
[03:07.464] ...who can say how far you'll fall?
[03:11.496] Now you've heard tell of Android Hell...
[03:16.004] ...but you've got naught to fear.
[03:20.037] We all live in her chambers...
[03:23.949] ...we're all already here...