[00:00.000] 作词 : Adam Schlesinger/Jack Dolgen/Rachel Bloom[00:01.000] 作曲 : Adam Schlesinger/Jack Dolgen/Rachel Bloom[00:04.166][00:04.394]Twenty years old, pretty smart kid[00:07.003]Didn't know what I wanted to do[00:09.337]So I took the LSAT[00:10.811]And just like that[00:11.831]got accepted at Glendale U[00:14.492]Everyone said it was a real safe bet[00:16.582]A prestigious and lucrative vocation[00:18.942]So I set off on a journey[00:20.202]To become an attorney[00:21.495]Without a moment's hesitation[00:23.962]But here's some free advice I'm giving[00:28.164]When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living[00:33.072]Don't be a lawyer![00:35.186]Don't do it![00:36.121]Quickest way to ruin your life[00:37.915]Don't be a lawyer![00:40.021]Not worth it![00:40.935]It'll leave you dead inside[00:43.194]The job is inherently crappy[00:45.180]That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy[00:47.386]It's a guaranteed soul destroyer[00:51.086]Don't be a lawyer![00:56.845][00:57.121]Law school debt[00:58.594]Daily regret[00:59.745]Is that what you dreamed of as a kid?[01:01.945]Or did you hope one day[01:03.404]That you'd find a way[01:04.599]To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company?[01:10.870]Your only expertise[01:11.987]Is runnin' up fees[01:13.132]Speakin' legalese like a dick[01:15.441]But it's not too late[01:16.691]To avoid this fate[01:17.871]Find any other job to pick[01:20.447]Sure, your parents might think you're a failure[01:25.228]But no one's ever said, "First, let's kill all the tailors"[01:29.418]Don't be a lawyer![01:31.515]I'm serious, it really, really sucks[01:34.302]Don't be a lawyer![01:36.128]No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal[01:39.488]There are so many other professions[01:41.872]That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions[01:43.914]Just say no to the lawyer employer[01:48.052](No!) Don't be a lawyer[01:51.787]“What about human rights law?”[01:54.303]“No money, no, no money”[01:56.978]“Environmental law?”[01:59.120]“No money, even less money”[02:02.037]“Immigration law?”[02:03.972]“No money, plus it's a bummer”[02:06.648]“Okay, but what if one day, you make it to the Supreme Court?”[02:10.206]It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court[02:12.991]But you'll never be on the Supreme Court[02:15.377]There's truly no chance of that happenin'[02:20.556]Lawyer: “The preceding song in no way reflects the views of CBS and the CW network”[02:26.136]“Ah, screw it”[02:29.862]See? Don't be a lawyer![02:32.013][02:32.348](歌词贡献者:Esther Guo)[02:33.803]