Don’t Be a Lawyer - Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Cast/Burl Moseley.mp3

[00:00.000] 作词 : Adam Schlesinger/Jack Dolgen/Rachel Bloom
[00:01.000] 作曲 : Adam Schlesinger/Jack Dolgen/Rachel Bloom
[00:04.166]
[00:04.394]Twenty years old, pretty smart kid
[00:07.003]Didn't know what I wanted to do
[00:09.337]So I took the LSAT
[00:10.811]And just like that
[00:11.831]got accepted at Glendale U
[00:14.492]Everyone said it was a real safe bet
[00:16.582]A prestigious and lucrative vocation
[00:18.942]So I set off on a journey
[00:20.202]To become an attorney
[00:21.495]Without a moment's hesitation
[00:23.962]But here's some free advice I'm giving
[00:28.164]When it comes to decidin' what to do for a living
[00:33.072]Don't be a lawyer!
[00:35.186]Don't do it!
[00:36.121]Quickest way to ruin your life
[00:37.915]Don't be a lawyer!
[00:40.021]Not worth it!
[00:40.935]It'll leave you dead inside
[00:43.194]The job is inherently crappy
[00:45.180]That's why you've never met a lawyer who's happy
[00:47.386]It's a guaranteed soul destroyer
[00:51.086]Don't be a lawyer!
[00:56.845]
[00:57.121]Law school debt
[00:58.594]Daily regret
[00:59.745]Is that what you dreamed of as a kid?
[01:01.945]Or did you hope one day
[01:03.404]That you'd find a way
[01:04.599]To spend four years workin' on a pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company?
[01:10.870]Your only expertise
[01:11.987]Is runnin' up fees
[01:13.132]Speakin' legalese like a dick
[01:15.441]But it's not too late
[01:16.691]To avoid this fate
[01:17.871]Find any other job to pick
[01:20.447]Sure, your parents might think you're a failure
[01:25.228]But no one's ever said, "First, let's kill all the tailors"
[01:29.418]Don't be a lawyer!
[01:31.515]I'm serious, it really, really sucks
[01:34.302]Don't be a lawyer!
[01:36.128]No one you work with looks like Ally McBeal
[01:39.488]There are so many other professions
[01:41.872]That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions
[01:43.914]Just say no to the lawyer employer
[01:48.052](No!) Don't be a lawyer
[01:51.787]“What about human rights law?”
[01:54.303]“No money, no, no money”
[01:56.978]“Environmental law?”
[01:59.120]“No money, even less money”
[02:02.037]“Immigration law?”
[02:03.972]“No money, plus it's a bummer”
[02:06.648]“Okay, but what if one day, you make it to the Supreme Court?”
[02:10.206]It'd be great to be on the Supreme Court
[02:12.991]But you'll never be on the Supreme Court
[02:15.377]There's truly no chance of that happenin'
[02:20.556]Lawyer: “The preceding song in no way reflects the views of CBS and the CW network”
[02:26.136]“Ah, screw it”
[02:29.862]See? Don't be a lawyer!
[02:32.013]
[02:32.348]（歌词贡献者：Esther Guo）
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