Shield & Spear - Macelph.mp3

[00:00.00] 作曲 : William Wu
[00:15.11]I had this dream but I had to tell myself stop thinking about it
[00:18.74]I used to dream about the other part but I start to think about me
[00:22.46]I used to wonder what my life after 20 years is gonna be
[00:25.70]Even thinking will cause butterfly effects then it’s what it gotta be
[00:29.31]Used to live in the imagination, what I pictured the world is beautiful like heaven but that’s just what I imagined
[00:34.31]cut it open with a scalpel it is always out of your expectation
[00:37.89]Aggregation and separation are just a matter of time, same shit always work on my life and my intimates, never get to be fine
[00:44.58]It reminds me of all those close relationships that I had, tried to maintain it so hard but in the end, I turned out to be the one who’s mad
[00:51.73]Who’s mad, I’m mad, I still remember every single word I said
[00:55.44]All the emotions that I had, every level that I get
[00:59.08]Tearing off the bandages cutting up those wounds do hurt a lot but comparing to hiding from the truth and telling myself lies I would rather not
[01:05.80]I consider my inability to handle the distance as genetic disorder yeah, it’s inherited, I can’t find a cure to it, it always troubles a lot
[01:13.83]I question myself a lot recently, I can feel a part of me is conflicting with the other part of me, to satisfy one means to sacrifice the other, same result conversely
[01:22.07]I think I will achieve tranquility that I wish eventually
[01:24.83]I don’t think I treasure happiness more than my determination to stay peacefully
[01:28.67]People are hiding themselves from who they are, we are all kinda contradictory
[01:32.52]Disguise into different roles in different situations but sometimes we don’t want but we are forced to be
[01:38.52]we act who they want us to be, we say what they want to hear, we show what they want to see
[01:43.23]For me the most precious thing above all is not others but serenity
[01:46.92]I can live without being happy but this is what I cannot miss
[01:50.36]Maybe my destiny will tell me when the time is appropriate for it, I will be ready, guess it’s time to leave, sorry dear, gotta go, call of duty
[01:58.19]I’m not a philosopher I don’t get that mind to figure out the best solution to peace, there’s still a long way to go, there are too much I still gotta see
[02:05.43]The world is developing and attracting me, I’m not able to achieve abstinence in it, money lures me now do the ****ing laundry
[02:17.18]
[02:27.31]Call me abnormal call me a weirdo call me a freak
[02:31.05]Yes, my mother said it days ago I have the moral deformity
[02:34.70]Huh, you said I brought so much pain and disaster to this family
[02:38.46]But why I feel like you’ve been living easily without a single feeling of guilty
[02:42.43]I’ve been feeling guilty ever since I realized some part of everything is a lie
[02:45.94]And I will never pass these poisonous thoughts to my kids it will ruin their lives
[02:49.57]She’s always like that, give me a candy first then slam my face, like a rollercoaster ride
[02:54.27]2 minutes ago she said my darling now she says: freak get otta my sight!
[02:57.75]Now I’m wondering if she likes it, is it fun?
[03:00.38]There are always two voices in my head one says go hug her one says run
[03:04.46]I tried to hate her but I can’t, I tried to forgive neither I can
[03:08.30]Individuals will never be able to fully understand
[03:11.84]As it’s been said to be understood is to prostitute oneself, sometimes I speak incoherently to myself, same for everyone else
[03:19.27]I made this cuz I want some people to hear my thoughts but I don’t want to be understood, see I’m speaking incoherently again, so ridiculous pal
[03:26.77]Sometimes I wanna kill wanna torture wanna watch people I hate to suffer
[03:30.55]Sometimes I wanna forgive wanna tolerate wanna be kind be a little bit better
[03:34.18]I just know that I got the part of a devil and an angel inside my mind
[03:37.85]They’ve been coexisting in my body and it’s so ****ing hard to decide
[03:41.52]Whether I’m a good man or a bad man, well, thousands of views talking about batman
[03:46.12]I guess I’m not psychotic enough to build a house like Jack I’m not a mad man
[03:49.83]Maybe I got that potential to slit the throat or to copy jack the ripper’s M.O. murder people screaming oh my god, please, no!
[03:56.28]Or I can act as a savior, funny huh, yeah **** the savior
[03:59.75]Cuz I don’t believe in those bullshit, tired of hearing all those prayers,
[04:03.85]Yeah, I’m afraid of myself, should’ve been the same for everyone else
[04:06.81]The fear of sin and the spirit of courage, Avada Kedavra evil spelled
[04:11.12]This is symbiosis, the part of me will show up when it’s needed
[04:14.52]So, I decide to fade out the other side with time I cannot delete it
[04:18.29]I’m sure you know I’m stubborn as **** I never believe in the destiny
[04:22.15]But what’s funny is it seems that this is what I doomed to be